And Sent Him Homeward
by Sgt.Pepperony
Summary: Alec and Clan head up to Scotland to pay a rather awkward visit to his dying estranged father who he had not spoken to for years. [Part 10 of New Memories, New Life] *Complete*
1. Part One

**Title:** And Sent Him Homeward  
 **Author:** Sgt. Pepperony  
 **Fandom:** Broadchurch  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Pairing:** Alec/Ellie (established)  
 **Disclaimer:** As far as I am aware, I do not own Broadchurch or the characters. All property belongs to Chris Chibnall. OCs are mine. Title is from the unofficial Scottish National Anthem.

 **Right, actually taking everyone out of Broadchurch and going about 441 miles north. In Scotland. Involving a car journey with two teenagers and a four year old and a bunch of arguments and that is even before they have set off. This is also going to be long (just to try something out) so I would grab a cup of tea or coffee. Wine is acceptable given that it's going to involve some angst. Okay, a lot of angst so you might want the whole bottle.**

Part One

They hadn't even gotten out the front door before chaos had ensued in the Hardy household. The car keys could not be found, one of the kids was missing and Fred had decided that he did not want to sit in his car seat. Then the car alarm went off and then someone, loud and Scottish, yelled, "For fucks sake!"

"Alec calm down," Ellie said putting her bag down. The keys had to be somewhere and it was only when she looked at Fred that she got an inkling where the keys might had gotten to. "Freddy, you're not in trouble, but where have you put Mummy's car keys?"

"No."

"Right but we kind of need to get on the road to see your grandad."

"Found them!" Daisy called from the kitchen. "They were in the fruit bowl."

"Brilliant, now can we get out the house?" Alec asked trying to get at least two of the three kids they had in the house and into the car. Tom was nowhere to be seen. He had stayed over at a friend's house but he was way too late. "Right if he isn't here in five minutes then I'll go get him myself."

"Alec," Ellie said placing her hands on his chest, "calm down. You're getting stressed out."

"It would just be helpful if the kids would just stop messing about every time we are about to go on a car journey."

"No, you are stressed out over seeing your dad."

"Oh yeah, I mean why would I not be stressed over seeing a man that I have not spoken to since I left university?"

"I swear to god if you don't calm down I am going to give you the drowsy cough medicine so you actually sleep in the car because you are starting to get on my nerves." Ellie went to go and sort Fred out.

"Dad, Ellie's right. You're stressed out and when you get stressed you become annoying," Daisy said holding onto the food cooler bag. "Do you actually want to go all the way to Scotland?"

"Sometimes we have to do things we don't like. I don't really like solving murders but I have to do it."

"You could have picked another job."

"Can you at least get in the car?"

"Well, we should probably go now considering that the traffic will build up."

"I know that, the problem we have is waiting for your brother."

"Didn't you get his text saying that he already had his stuff packed in his room and that we're meant to be picking him up from Mikey's?"

"He never sent a text."

"Yes he did."

"Ellie got it. I got it." She pulled out her phone and showed the text: Sent to Mum, Alec and Daisy. "Unless he used your old phone number."

"Just get in the car."

Tom was standing outside his friend's house, confronted by a sulking Fred in his car seat and everyone else in a funny mood, "Whose been fighting?"

"No one has been fighting. Just get in the car," Alec replied.

-o-

"Is this Scotland?" Fred asked when they hit traffic.

"No Fred, this is Taunton," Alec answered sharply.

"Where's that?"

"Somerset."

It probably wasn't the best idea to having him behind the wheel when he was already stressed out considering his rather significant road rage. "It's not even rush hour."

"Cough medicine," Ellie warned.

"Just saying it's not even Bank Holiday."

"Well we only have to get as far as Stoke before we have to stop to rest," Ellie said. "Though at the next stop we need to swap."

"Why?"

"Because I'm getting car sick."

"Since when?" Tom asked.

"Since your stepfather knocked me up," Ellie thought. They were waiting until after the trip to tell them about the baby. Ellie for the most part had been okay but being a passenger in cars tended to make her nauseous nowadays. That and fish. "I'm just a bit hungry."

"Well, next service station we'll stop," Alec grumbled.

"Good because Fred looks as though he needs the toilet," Tom informed.

Ellie looked in the rear-view mirror and saw doing his usual holding onto the front of his trousers and with a pitiful look on his face. Ellie sighed, "Fred you said you went before you left."

"He did but the kid goes through apple juice like no tomorrow."

"In 0.4 miles turn right," the sat-nav directed.

"That's all well and good but there is nowhere to turn right," Alec groaned.

"Dad, calm down," Daisy sighed.

"It's not my fault that thing is the biggest waste of money – It always takes you down the wrong path, it nags you to death."

"And there was that time that the language just switched to German and we somehow ended up in Cornwall," Tom added.

"All that proved is that you need to work on your German young man," Ellie retorted.

"I'm not even taking it anymore."

They managed to stop about ten minutes later so Fred could go the bathroom and Ellie could sooth the nausea a bit. It didn't help that she had to get something to eat in order to keep Tom's suspicions at bay. Ellie took the wheel once they were off again. It was mostly silent until they got to the next stop near Birmingham. That was for a late lunch.

"So what are you going to say about you and Mum?" Daisy asked biting into one of her chips.

"I got divorced, it's not that difficult," Alec answered.

"I meant about why you and Mum got divorced."

"Nothing. It's not exactly a great topic of conversation."

"What about Tom and Fred? What if people ask who their real dad is?"

"That he was a piece of shit who is rotting in a cell."

"He isn't rotting. He'll be out in a few months."

"You know what I mean. Listen, just don't say too much. It can cause more questions than we need."

"Does he even know about me?"

"Yes."

"So you have spoken to him."

"Not in eighteen years. Besides it was just a voice message not an actual conversation."

Daisy didn't say much else and just absentmindedly kept dunking her chip into the ketchup.

"So what are we doing when we get to Stoke?" Tom asked.

"Checking into a hotel and you have to make sure you are up and ready to go by seven tomorrow morning," Ellie answered.

"Seven?"

"We have to get their by twelve. Believe it or not, there is this hour that most people get up at."

Tom grumbled as he ate his chips. Fred seemed to be in a better mood but didn't want to touch his peas. Alec had since given up on the Pea War as it came to be known in the house.

They arrived in Stoke a bit later than planned but they could at least get some sleep. For the most part. Ellie couldn't sleep and found herself in the bathroom looking at her stomach in the mirror. What was only a soft swell a couple weeks before had become much more pronounced. It was funny because on the websites they all said that the baby was the size of a plum. She still smiled and stroked the bump, though somewhat thankful that she had a bunch of loose fitting tops to hide the evidence.

"El, what are you doing up?" Alec padding into the bathroom.

"Couldn't sleep." She turned to him, showing her belly to him. "I've popped."

"Well, I noticed that last week."

"It feels weird but nice." Alec went over to her and rubbed his hand over the bump. "It's going to take a lot to hide it from the kids and your lot. Though, I do think you should tell your dad."

"I have to tell him a lot of things."

"Well, it would be nice for him to know about his grandchild. Sorry I was so snippy with you this morning."

"No, it was my fault. I was being an arse."

"You're stressed and I get it."

"I know but I was taking it out on the kids and you and none of you deserved it."

"Well," Ellie lifted herself onto the counter, "you can make it up to me."

Alec went to lock the door as Ellie peeled her pyjama top off, "Tell you what else has gotten bigger."

"Yeah but don't touch them."

Alec kissed her and soon they were joined, moaning softly before completion. He breathed heavily on her shoulder. She smiled reassuringly at him but it wasn't going to fix whatever what going on in his head. It was a distraction at best.

-o-

The next day the traffic seemed to die down as they got towards the border and they arrived at a surprisingly large house near Seafield in West Lothian. Alec felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. It had been years since he's returned to this house, the last time being for his mother's funeral.

"You used to live here?" Tom asked rather dumbfounded.

"Yep," Alec replied rather caviller. "It's not that big. Ours has more rooms."

"Dad, it's not exactly small either," Daisy added.

Alec tapped the wheel for a moment before turning off the engine, "Well, no time like the present."

They got out the car and they were immediately greeted by Alec's older sister Jane, "I see you managed to make it across the border in one piece. Thought the Scot Nationalists would revoke your right into the country." Alec gave a somewhat sarcastic laugh before hugging her. At that point, two smaller children, Cat and Ed had run to Fred and within five seconds there was a game of tag going. "Glad you came though."

"How is he?"

There was a cough from the doorway and a very aged man emerged. Stewart Hardy did not look like someone on the brink of death. None of his hair had gone, he didn't look emaciated nor in any sort of pain. Ellie could spot the resemblance between her husband and his father right off the bat: same eyes, nose and bone structure. She could tell that before all the grey had set in, Stewart had a similar shade of reddish brown to Alec and Daisy. Alec had stood right in front of Daisy as if he was shielding her from some monster but his father, for all his indiscretions, seemed harmless.

Stewart was the first to speak, "Christ sakes, you're still a skinny runt aren't you."

"I've looked worse," Alec replied dryly. "Dad, this is my wife Ellie. These are your grandchildren: Daisy, Tom and Fred."

Fred, who like his mother had no issues with meeting new people, was the first to break the ice, "Have you seen the video of the dog running into the wall?"

Tom, covering his eyes, shook his head and groaned. It seemed to be Fred's way of introducing himself nowadays since Fred watched 'Dogs Make Us Laugh' when Lucy babysat him a couple weeks ago.

"Aye, I haven't, but I would like to see it if you could find it." Stewart looked up and looked directly at Tom, wearing his Bournemouth FC football shirt. "I take it you play football."

"Midfield," answered Tom, rather warily. "You ever play?"

"No, got two club feet. Would have spelt disaster." He looked at Daisy, most notably the greyish-blue eyes, similar to his deceased wife. "Seems you got the full pack Alec."

"Yep, I sure do."

Alec had underestimated how much the house had been extended. In addition to the original three bedrooms, there had been another two guest rooms so it was enough to fit the four adults, two teenagers and three children.

Ellie could not help but smile because Alec's room hadn't been touched. The blue wallpaper had faded but some objects from his rather secretive childhood had remained. Simple Minds poster, a Rubik's cube on the bedside table and a bunch of books. Loads of books actually.

"Ever have any girls in here?" she asked.

"No. It's too far out for me to bring anyone back. School was in Edinburgh."

"Christ that's a bit far."

"Only about forty-five minutes. Might take the kid since we're here."

"You feeling okay being back here, all those memories?"

"Dunno. Mind you, I thought he wold be worse for wear."

"When my mum was dying, she went through a surge, which meant she looked as right as rain for a few weeks. It confused Tom. He thought she was getting better then all of a sudden we're checking her into a hospice and she was in a coma. He was only five and had no idea what was going on." There was a catch in Ellie's throat. Talking about her mother's death was one of those things that she didn't like talking about, very much in a similar vein of Joe's betrayal. "Sorry. Bloody hormones." Alec kissed her forehead. "Anyway, enough with that. I need a cup of tea."

He pushed a strand of hair out her face and kissed it again, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Come on, let's go down."

In the living room, Daisy was looking at the photos on the wall, particularly of one of some scrawny kid, "Dad, is this you?"

"Yeah."

"You're smiling."

"You sound shocked."

"Well, I never hear you talk about you as a kid. I just assumed it was unhappy."

"It wasn't. At least up until I was thirteen."

"Is that your mum?"

"Yeah."

"She's pretty."

"She was."

"Do you think she would have liked me?"

"Daisy, she would have loved you. What do you think about your granddad then?"

"I dunno. He feels like a stranger and it's strange because he's my grandfather."

"He's not that bad a person."

"But you hate him."

"I don't… I don't hate him."

"Maybe you should tell him that."

"I don't know if I can."

Daisy was just about to say something when Jane came in, "Listen Dad is suggesting we go to Capriccio's for dinner."

Daisy didn't look too sure about this knowing her father had developed a really picky nature when it came to eating out but that was just the doctor recommended diet playing havoc with his brain but Italian food seemed to be safe. Also, a part of her was worried an argument would break out.

"At least it's not a chicken joint."

Tom had gone to look around the house with Fred and had come across an open door leading to the basement. In there was large scale model of a World War Two war ship and other model military ships. Fred tried to grab one of the shelf but Tom stopped him because the ships looked fragile.

"Curious?" someone asked behind them. Tom jumped but it was only Stewart.

"The door was open."

"So if someone left their front door wide open you would walk straight in?"

Tom shook his head dumbly, "No sir."

"Don't worry lad. I'm only teasing. You're like Alec when he was a kid: always jumpy and worried about getting into trouble."

"You've never seen my mum when she's angry."

"I will remain on her best side then."

"Did you build all these?"

"Aye. Since I got the cancer, I haven't been able to tend to that garden like I used to."

"Cancer?"

"In me bones. And liver, heart and brain."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"Painkillers do a world of good. But alas they can't make me any better."

"My nan died of cancer when I was five."

"So this is nothing new to you. It's not as though I have lived a bad life: two kids and five grandkids."

Tom had to make sure Fred was out of earshot before saying what he said, "You still think Fred and me are your grandkids?"

"Well, I don't know much about your real dad but Jane said that you were better off without him."

"Fred is. I have to live with it."

"Well, I won't ask you to talk about it if you don't want to."

-o-

"Fuck me he's still here," Alec thought as they were greeted by an older Italian man. Beppe di Marco had been a man in his twenties when Alec was a child and the man who had given Alec his first job behind the bar.

"Ah, Alec," the enthusiastic Italian man approached Alec and Ellie. "You have wife no?"

"Yes, Beppe. This is Ellie."

"Ah and what a lovely signora eh? How many with you?"

"Just the nine."

"Right well, follow me."

"I'm going to get the drinks in," Ellie said.

"Don't worry yourself about that love, I got it," said Stewart.

"Well, at least let me help you."

Ellie ordered the drinks before Stewart told her, "You're good for him you know. I can see it in his eyes: absolutely head over heels."

"I will admit he gets on my nerves sometimes but I couldn't do without him."

"So how's the wee one treating you?"

"Fred? He's at the age of pushing the boundaries."

"I meant the one you've been hiding. Women with your figure don't hide under baggy clothes unless they're trying to hide something."

Ellie wasn't sure how to respond but came out with the honest truth, "We've not told the kids yet."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"We only found out a couple weeks ago. Apart from anaemia, this one is treating me alright so far."

"You planning on telling them when you get back?"

"Try as I might, I don't think I might be able to hide it much longer." After the food was ordered (Ellie ordering extra tomatoes on her pasta), the conversation settled into Alec and Ellie having to explain how they met, which wasn't exactly an easy topic given it was or Tom's best friend who had been murdered by Ellie's then-husband but to cut that all out, Ellie just said, "He nicked my job, but it only lasted a few months and then he got a job in Sleepchester."

"That didn't last long though. Daisy thought I was better off back in Broadchurch but got a job in a place called Woodhaven."

"I was right though. If I hadn't pushed you then you wouldn't have gotten with Ellie," Daisy added. "Even then it took you about six months to even ask her out."

"Well, that doesn't matter now, we're happy."

"Well, good on you kid," Stewart said. "She's good for you."

Alec did feel the overhanging awkwardness, as did Daisy but Tom, Fred and Ellie seemed to be getting on with Stewart fairly okay. It wasn't as though they should have any real beef with him. Ellie had given Alec a reassuring squeeze on his thigh and he stoked her hand.

"Mum, would you mind if we went to Edinburgh tomorrow," Tom asked.

"Define we?" Ellie asked.

"I promised that I would take the kids to the city," Stewart replied.

"Dad, is that really a wise idea given the circumstances?" Jane asked. "Cat can be a handful."

"And Fred," Ellie added.

"Well, that's why Tom and I are going," Daisy said chewing a breadstick"

"Besides, I'm fine Jane," Stewart insisted.

"Maybe I should come with," Alec piped up. "You'll need someone to drive."

Surprisingly, the rest dinner didn't go off with any disasters though Ellie was suspicious of Alec's motivation. She thought about it as Alec was drawing patterns on her bump. She trapped his hand and looked at him dead in the eye.

"What are you up to Alec?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you planning on going to Edinburgh?"

"As I said, someone needs to drive."

"Are you sure this isn't some attempt to protect the kids from him."

Alec sat up, "In all honesty, I'm worried about what could happen with Daisy. I don't know what's going on in her head."

"Why don't you talk to her?"

"I did ask. She just said he feels like a stranger, and it's my fault. I should have swallowed up my pride and anger."

"Well, if you're going to Edinburgh then you can find a way to patch it up with him."

"I hope you are right El." He kissed her and Ellie lay down taking him with her. "I really hope you're right."

-o-

The next morning, they set off and arrived in Edinburgh within the hour. Tom had immediately pulled Alec aside to talk to him about the fact they hid Stewart's prognosis.

"Look, if I said I was going up to see him because he was dying then I would get pushed into a conversation I don't want to speak about just yet," Alec explained. "Just don't tell Daisy yet."

"You need to stop this."

"What?"

"The whole lying to protect her thing. It's not worked out for you before and I don't want to be the one trying to get her off a wall when she's pissed again."

"Are you good at football Uncle Alec?" Ed asked when they got to Carlton Hill in the capital.

Tom snorted and Alec gave a playful shove, "Not really. Tom is though if you want a game."

"That's not fair. He's bigger than we are," Cat complained.

"Okay, Fred, you want a game of footy?" Tom asked looking back at Fred, his hands clinging onto Daisy and Stewart's hands.

Fred nodded and immediately ran to Tom and his cousins, leaving grandfather and granddaughter alone for the first time. Daisy smiled at Fred, Cat and Ed's attempt at passing the ball around, while Alec and Tom mediated.

"Your dad seems to be happy."

"He is. Ellie's been the best thing to happen to him in a long time. He loves her to pieces, I think more than he ever did Mum. Then again, I do wonder if she ever really did love Dad. Wouldn't have slept with a tosser who oils his hair so much it looks as though he's never had a wash in his life otherwise."

"Sometimes people just fall out of love."

"Doesn't really justify what she did."

"Or what I did I guess."

"Why did you do it? Cheat on Grandma?"

"It wasn't exactly a happy marriage hen. We used to argue all the time and we only really married because she got pregnant with Jane. It was the sixties and there was a stigma that you don't get nowadays with unmarried couples and divorce. It doesn't mean I didn't love your grandmother; she's the mother of my kids, but if you marry someone to keep your relatives happy then it doesn't spell out a good sign. I look at your dad and Ellie and I envy them."

"Did you know you broke her heart? Literally?"

"She got depressed and stopped taking care of herself but her heart had been in trouble for a long time before that. Having two kids put a strain on it and it flared up not long after your dad was born. I suppose you won't understand-"

"I don't. After Dad fell ill and Mum took no responsibility for what she did I was very close to never speaking to her again."

"Well, you are your father's daughter. I can't justify it but I do regret what I did, mostly because it wrecked my family. It was stupid and selfish, but I can't go back and fix it. I would talk about it with your father but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it."

"He doesn't hate you. He just hates what you did."

"Well, I don't think that it's going to get patched up before I go."

"I thought you were getting better."

"Your dad hasn't told you has he?"

"Told me what?"

During the game, Alec had been keeping an eye on the conversation and then he saw Daisy shoot off and he followed her, trusting Tom with the little ones. He managed to get her to stop by Edinburgh Castle about twenty minutes later.

"Daisy, slow down."

"Why did you not tell me he was dying?"

"Because I didn't know if you'd come if I told you. It's a lot of stuff to pile onto you at once."

"You keep doing this Dad: you keep lying to me because you think you're keeping me safe."

"I know. Tom's given me the word on it."

"You still think I am fourteen don't you? You still think I'm too naïve to know anything.

"I don't."

"Then for once can you just be honest with me because I know about the baby."

"You do?"

"I heard you talking about it the other night and since when has Ellie started wearing loose fitting tops?"

Alec was about to respond when his phone rang and Tom's voice came off the other end in a panic. He hung up and Alec looked at Daisy, "Darlin', we'll have to talk about this later. Your granddad's on his way to the hospital."


	2. Part Two

Part Two

The tumour on Stewart's brain had caused a seizure so the oncologist had recommended that he stay in due to the strain on his heart, but it looked as though he didn't have much time left. End of the week at the latest.

"Surely you can operate to remove the tumour on his brain," Alec pleaded with the doctor.

"I'm sorry sir, but the tumour is lodged too far into his brain for us to safely remove it and the cells in his bones and metastasis in his liver and heart just didn't respond to the chemo. It won't cure him, just prolong his life but it's not a pleasant treatment and your father asked us not to do it once he started deteriorating." Alec nodded and sat down. "We'll make him as comfortable as possible."

"Thanks." Alec put his hand through his hair and turned his head to look in the hospital room. He had to ring Jane right now, though from the looks of it, Daisy had already done it having just come off the phone. "She on her way?"

Daisy nodded, "Ellie's coming to get us. So what did they say?"

"It's not good. He only has a few days at most. How's everyone else?"

"Tom is a bit shocked but okay. The little ones don't quite know what's gone on."

"Daisy, about what happened-"

"Dad, this isn't the time or place."

"When will be a good time?"

"When we're not in the middle of a hospital corridor."

Jane and Ellie arrived about an hour later where Daisy had been looking after the little ones in the waiting room while Tom and Alec were in the room. Jane looked livid.

"I knew this would happen. I knew as soon as he exerted himself something would happen."

"Jane he wasn't exerting himself. He just had a seizure. It would have happened if we had stayed at home," Alec replied sharply.

"He really wasn't," Tom confirmed.

"We have to make him comfortable. I need to go back to the house."

"Alec-"

"I need to grab some things. I think he'd come back and haunt us if he died wearing a hospital gown."

"Fine. There is some in his bedside draw. You need the key?"

"Yes."

"Right, you'll be back about six?"

"Should be. You going to be okay?"

"I'm used to it, don't worry." Alec could detect some bitterness in her tone but nodded as he left, Tom in pursuit.

"So what happens now? Are we going to have to stay?"

"I'll have to."

"You know Mum isn't going to leave you up here on your own?"

"I know."

-o-

Ellie had only just opened the oven door when Alec approached her looking really stressed, "Daisy knows about the baby. She overheard us the other night."

"And?"

"I don't know, Tom called about my dad before we could actually talk about it."

"Right, do you think we should tell Tom?"

"I don't know, it's not a good time to think about all this." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. Ellie wrapped her arms around him while he dropped his head to her shoulder. "You should probably tell him yourself. It'll sound better coming from you."

"I'll think about it. I'll talk to Daisy if you want."

"It needs to be something between me and her."

"Okay. Do you need to get back to the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I've made both you and Jane something to eat. Hospital food sucks."

He kissed her cheek, "Thanks Ellie."

"Now go."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Go."

Alec was just about to go to the front door when Daisy stopped him, "You going back to the hospital?"

"Yeah. Do you want to come?"

"Can do."

Once in the car, Alec wasn't sure what to say or what to talk about firs: the lying to protect her, her unborn half-brother or half-sister, or the fact that they only memory she will have of her grandfather is him lying in a hospital bed.

"Is this a good time to talk?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want to talk about first?"

"When is the baby due?"

"February. We didn't say anything because we only found out a couple weeks ago and it usual to tell everyone at the twelve week mark. Mind you Ellie is twelve week. We were going to tell you when we got home."

"Well, I understand that more. Is everything okay at least with Ellie and with the baby?"

"Perfect. Are you okay with it then?"

"It's my little brother or sister. I'm completely okay with it. That said, you need to be honest with her if there is a situation like what happened with Mum. I don't want her to keep feeling as though she's being lied to."

"Do you feel as though you're being lied to?"

"Let's just say I sometimes find it hard to trust you." That cut him deep: the fact that he had lied so much that his own child could barely trust him. "It just feels like you can't trust me to handle it."

"Daisy, I couldn't handle my dad having an affair with another woman and I know how it feels to be mad at a parent because of their infidelity. I didn't want that for you but I know that was completely pointless. You should have said though."

"What would have been the point? Child services would not have given you custody because of your heart and I would still live in the same house with Mum and Dave so staying silent just seemed easier." Daisy's eyes welled up and Alec bit the inside of his mouth to suppress his own tears. "I remember when I was five, you had to have your appendix out and I was scared I'd never see you again. That's how I felt when I found out that you were dying, and don't say you weren't. The first time I saw you after so long you looked like shit and I thought that was going to be the last time I would ever see you."

Alec bit the inside of his mouth harder to the point of tasting blood on his tongue and they eventually pulled up at the hospital. Once out the car, Alec pulled her in for a massive hug. Daisy felt the tears on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry Darlin'. I'm sorry."

"I just want you to answer me this: am I going to get this heart condition?"

"I don't know. I asked the doctor said it's a fifty-fifty chance."

"Fifty-fifty? I suppose I might have to see a doctor to see how much at risk I am."

"Maybe we could both see a counsellor. After this, I'm going to need to need to see one anyway."

"I'll think about it." Daisy sobbed into his shoulder and he rocked her gently like he did when she was little. "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too. So much."

-o-

They stayed the whole night though an argument eventually erupted between Alec and Jane in the corridor while Daisy, tired and hungry, was sitting in the hospital room, with a greying Stewart in the bed. The nurse was pottering around with the vitals and charts.

"Is it normal for him to be grey?" Daisy asked quietly.

"It's normal when someone is nearing the end of his life to lose the colour hen."

"Is there genuinely nothing you can do to save him?"

"I'm sorry. We did give him everything to try to prolong his life but they do stop working after a while."

"Right." Daisy hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. Stewart coughed and his eyes fluttered open. "Grandad?"

"You alright hen?"

"Never mind me. I'm not the one in a hospital bed. Or dying."

"Suppose this was a bad way to meet. I don't blame your father though. I should have apologised sooner."

"Does it hurt?"

"In all honesty, they've put me on strong pain killers so I am flying on a cloud."

"Well, that's good."

"Don't be too hard on your dad will you? He loves you until the end of the earth and back."

"I know." They turned to still see Alec and Jane raving at each other outside. "I wish they realise that this isn't the time to yell at one another."

"Promise me something when I am gone: make my funeral fun."

"Not sure I can. Funerals are hardly meant to be fun."

"Well, at least make sure no one fights."

"I'll try."

Outside the fighting didn't look to be ending anytime soon and Alec was really on the end of his tether. Jane had so far called him a stubborn pig headed moron for not coming sooner and that she had been there for their father through all the treatment while Alec was playing happy families.

"You have to swallow your pride eventually Alec."

"Swallow my pride? I was on the road for a day and a half, I went to dinner with him and I even drove him and the kids to fucking Edinburgh. I swallowed my pride the second I got that letter."

"I meant apologising to him for depriving him of time with his granddaughter. He's said his piece now you do your bit."

Alec sighed, "Do you want to go home and get some rest? I'll stay with him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you need some rest and proper food. So does Daisy."

"You want me to take her back?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry, Jane. I left you in the lurch when I shouldn't have."

"It doesn't matter now."

They went into the hospital room, and while reluctant, Daisy left with Jane but not before giving Stewart's hand a squeeze and a kiss on his cheek. The heart monitor gave off an unsettling beeping noise Alec hadn't heard in a while, only it wasn't attached to him but his father. The funny thing was that Stewart, grey skin aside, looked better then Alec did before his pacemaker was put in. Alec dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet, and then the ultrasound photo. At least it was a topic opener.

"Well, seeing as we're here: Dad, here's your next grandchild." Alec showed the photo. "Ellie… She's twelve weeks. Everything's good."

"Suppose that is something to look forward to. Shame I won't be around to see him."

"Dad. I'm sorry that I didn't bring Daisy to see you for almost eighteen years. I was just so pissed off with what happened with Mum."

"You don't think I don't feel responsible? I was wrapped in guilt for years after she died. I took one look at your daughter and she's the spitting image of your mother. It didn't take long for the guilt to come back."

"I never hated you."

"Well, you drove all the way up here to see me on my death bed, or maybe just to tie up some loose ends so you don't feel guilt after I am gone."

"It's not like that."

"You always were obsessed with closure. You used to hate it when there was a dangling plot thread at the end of a series of books. Son, listen. I know you wish some things could've been resolved, but life is just a lot of loose ends. Some people never finish that novel they were writing or forgive a family member for their mistakes."

"I did forgive you… Years ago. I was too caught up in my own shit and pride."

"Well, I wasn't too sure how to apologise since you said you never wanted to speak to me again. Ten years later, you're telling me you're a dad to a little girl."

"That wasn't until five months after she was born."

"But never got any contact after that. Then they said it was terminal so sent that letter. I guess you and I are similar in that there are some dogs we cannot let lie. You're at least your mother's son, which means you're a better man than I am, and certainly a better dad."

"I'm not. I've screwed that girl up too much."

"Is she depressed?"

"Maybe."

"Does she have one of those eating disorders?"

"Not that I know of."

"Is she an alcoholic?"

"No."

"Well, one out of three means she'll come out fine. You love her and that all that matters. So smile, love that woman you have, love those two boys, and love that new little boy or girl that you're gonna have."

Alec nodded, not being able to say much else.

-o-

Ellie tapped her mug nervously. She hadn't seen Alec for nearly twenty-four hours and it was making her sick with worry since he hadn't called with any news. She was standing outside the backdoor when Daisy and Tom interrupted her thoughts.

"Have you heard from your dad yet?"

"No," Daisy answered. "You okay?"

"As well as I can be." Ellie rubbed the bottom of her stomach. "I'm just worried about your dad."

"Mum, you should go to him," Tom said. "He's on his own."

"Tom, I need to speak with you."

"I know about the baby Mum. You've been rubbing your stomach for the last couple weeks and nearly threw up when we had fish last week."

"And you're fine with that?"

"Yes."

"Oh come here you two." She pulled the two of them into a hug, causing Tom to groan. "I love you both."

"I love you too Mum, but can we quit with the mushy stuff."

"You sure you are going to be okay if I go to the hospital?"

"Yeah. Go to him please. He needs you Ellie," Daisy almost pleaded.

Ellie immediately grabbed her bag and called a cab since she didn't think it was wise to drive home separately.

When she got to the hospital an hour later, she found the hospital bed made, the machines off and Alec sitting by the window, his head down. He looked up at her, his sad eyes broke her heart and she immediately pulled him into a hug, allowing him to sob on her shoulder, trying to hold back the tears herself.

-o-

The next morning, Ellie woke to find Alec staring at the ceiling. He was so drained, physically and emotionally, the night before that he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. When they arrived home, the family instantly knew what had happened. He hugged Jane and Daisy close, unable to do much else.

She smiled softly and kissed his shoulder, "How long you been awake?"

"An hour, maybe."

"I'm going to stay with you, until after the funeral."

"Don't think I could have it any other way Ellie." He turned his head to her and kissed her lightly. The kiss deepened and Ellie rolled to her back. "Please El."

Her breaths were deep as she peeled his t-shirt off, "Okay. It's okay."

-o-

After a couple of days, the body was released by the procurator fiscal and it allowed them to get the funeral together. Fred, Cat and Ed weren't too sure what was going on while the teenagers tried their best to be supportive. Daisy just felt a bit numb in those two weeks before the funeral eventually took place, not entirely sure how to process what had happened but rather than bottling it up, she arranged to see a grief counsellor. So did Alec. While it didn't stop them from grieving, it got a lot of feelings and regrets out and it helped them process what had happened.

The funeral is a rather sober affair, but to Daisy's relief no one argues. They had decided that Fred, Cat and Ed were too young so had set them up with a babysitter. Alec and Tom bear the coffin with some of Stewart's oldest friends. Alec couldn't quite believe Reverend McAlester was still alive, still reciting the same sermon he said at every funeral: reciting the story of the Ascension of Christ. Then there was Stewart's oldest friend, Douglas McAdams, giving the eulogy, talking about how he met him back in the fifties and had been there through his marriage to Jessica and through raising Jane and Alec, and how even though he wasn't the best husband, he loved his two kids and five grandkids more than anything, even if he didn't spend nearly enough time with three of them. Ellie's got a grip on Alec's hand during the service while his other arm is wrapped around Daisy.

Alec decided to send Ellie and the kids back home after the funeral since all that would be done was a will reading, which Alec and Jane were only required to be in attendance. Ellie seemed reluctant to do so, not wanting to leave Alec alone, as did Daisy. He promised that he would be back by the end of the week, telling them that he loved them and kissed Ellie goodbye. When she told him that she loved him too, it sank deep into him.

After the meeting with the executor of Stewart's will, Alec and Jane sat on a wall on Edinburgh Castle with the urn containing Stewart's ashes, preparing to scatter them.

"They brought you here when you were born you know," Jane told him. "You were about a week old, wrinkly faced and sour looking. No different to now."

Alec snorted, "It was his favourite place to go. Took us here every single Easter."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you in the hospital."

"It's fine Jane. I was a dick that should have swallowed his pride the moment his daughter was born. When Daisy was born and she was lying there in the NICU, so sick and I knew I needed Dad to be there, to tell me everything was going to be okay and that my little girl was a fighter."

"He talked about you all the time you know."

"I don't doubt that."

"You have regrets?"

"Obviously."

"Well, you need to let go of them. It's all in the past and you have more things to be concerned about. You have a wee bairn coming and you need to put all your attention on him or her as well as Daisy, Tom and Fred."

"I don't think that is going to be entirely possible Jane."

"Well, nothing we can do now. Except scatter these ashes."

-o-

As promised, he was back after a week, carrying a wooden box. Ellie was standing by the car and his breath was taken away. In the three weeks since his father died, Ellie had gone from 'Does she have weight issues?' to 'Definitely pregnant' as her belly had become more rounded, the vitamins had done wonders to her hair, and her face had soothed out and was glowing. Alec had been so distracted the last few weeks that he had barely noticed any further changes.

Ellie looked at him and smiled softly, but at the same time her heart broke. He still looked shattered and emotionally wrecked from the whole ordeal. Her emotions had been messing with her the pass few days but seeing him now had sent them through the roof.

She immediately ran to hug him tightly, "Oh I missed you so much."

"I missed you too love," he chuckled. They arrived home, though not to sound too morbid, Ellie asked about what happened during the will reading. "The kids all get £50,000 each. Tom and Fred will have to wait until their eighteen, but since Daisy's birthday was a couple weeks ago, I put it in her account. He left me some money as well. He also left me this box and a letter."

"You opened it yet?"

"I don't know." He went to go and wash his mug.

Ellie went over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Alec, for the time being we're sharing our lives and that means you can't shut me out when you don't want to talk about something."

"I'm not shutting you out Ellie. I am just wondering if it is worth opening the box because there might reopen some wounds I've just healed."

"What if they are just good memories. You do have some good memories of your father. You told me that. There was the time when the river froze and he woke you up at midnight to skating, the time he took you to see a Six Nations match, and your holiday in France. I say open it, and then we can tell the baby when he's older."

Alec thought about it for a moment, knowing Ellie was right. He nodded, dried his hands off and sat at the table. He opened the box, revealing some photos of him when he was younger, some photos of his parents' wedding day, a few possessions of his grandfather and a bunch of ticket stubs. Whether or not it was done as a reminder of the good times they had together or Stewart entrusted his only son with this, Alec felt grateful to have it.

A tear dropped from his eye, and Ellie put her arm around his shoulder. He rested his head against her belly, and kissed it softly. He felt grateful to have Ellie as well, vowing to keep the promise to his father to love her and their family.

Their growing family.


End file.
